I have no idea what I’m talking about. Politics yo. #Bullshit

The only politically-based thing I do care about (and not just Rage Against the Machine circa 1995 when I was an angry ranga not unlike this kid rocking out in my Evil Empire shirt) is that we’re finally out of the dark ages and have joined the rest of the modern world by getting an R18 classification for video games. So I can finally play Manhunt without having to sweat that the authorities are gonna bust down my door.

This puff piece by the fine folks and news.com.au brought out your usual gang of Fox News Commentators explaining why video games are dangerous, and religion isn’t. There’s some standout comments from crazies from both side of the fence, ten pages worth in fact.

So how about the Playstation Vita that gets released tomorrow! Will you be cool enough to spend over $400 on it? Were you cool enough to party on a boat with Empire Of the Sun yesterday?

It’s always a party with Unknown Mortal Orchestra. Check out Strangers are Strange.

Tim Burgess from The Charlatans is so hot right now. He’s the only Britpop dude with his own brand of cereal. I present to you; Totes Amazeballs. Breakfast of champions is right: Rocky road, Coco Pops, marshmallows, shorbread pieces and raisins. Scrap that last one and I’d gobble this shit up in a sec. But only one box exists. Boo.
Story.

What’s cooler: Noel and Damon looking hanging out at the Brit Awards

Or Immortal at Hellfest with their impressive stack of Marshall amps.

Community is back on the 15th March! Now with extra Gus Fring.

And finally, Sydney’s own Sufjan Stevens is back. Richie Cuthbert, who you may recall as the ringleader and head honcho of Cuthbert and the Nightwalkers has a new album out and it’s damn fine, Sufjan-esque one might say. Grab it now for free.

Pull up a seat and let’s get started.

If you can’t wait for The Dirty Three to release Towards the Low Sun but you’re hanging out for some post rock violin action where a dude may or may not act like a flamingo then get your dirty mitts on the new Earth album  Angels of Darkness, Demons of Light II. Why? Because it’s damn fine yo.

 
 
Superbowl was a few days ago and with all this Madonna / LMFAO action (a fine combination I might add) we all somehow missed William Bailey’s 50th birthday. Axl Rose yo!

Louis CK?

 Speaking of Louis, this dude is busy. When he’s not relentlessly touring or working on his show he’s being a dad. He’s now teamed up with a former Seinfeld writer for a new show. It’s untitled at the moment but it’s about “young people trying to achieve their creative dreams in these tough financial times”. Read all about it.

If there was some way to merge has-beens together into one beautiful hybrid freak we’d half the 90s celebrities circuit.
Specimen A: Fat Christina Aguilera
Specimen B: Scary skinny Macauley Culkin

 I miss this.

Earl Sweatshirt, he of the infamous OFWGKTA is back with a new single. Dude’s been gone for a few years but no one knows where he went. Not sure if this is the finished product coz it sounds like it needs some production magic. The lyrics and flow are second to none but it sounds like a bad indie band rehearsing in the garage. Anyway, follow him on what may or may not be his Twitter account. Listen to ‘Terttle Fer’ here.

 
Fucked Up are back on the concept album bandwagon, this time with Year Of The Tiger. Because it’s uh, year of the tiger. It’s the next installment in their Chinese Zodiac singles collection. Listen to it here, all 15 minutes of it:

Remember when Michael met Noel? It was a good day for all concerned, read the result here.

 And how does it feel to meet your lifelong hero?

The interview even got international attention, with one part of it being quoted in The Times of India.

Laterz.

From all reports Das Racist and Battles were great, but the mere thought of hanging around for 8 hours with kids with singlets and rats’ tails wasn’t very pleasant. Kanye was as pompous as ever, and if you think he hung out backstage with the other acts pulling cones you’re sorely mistaken. He arrived at the venue 30 seconds before he got onstage. That’s what you do when you’re Kanye. Soundgarden were awesome too, lots of Down On The Upside shit that made my 16-year old self nostalgiac. Perhaps the ‘Garden were worth the $900K per show they got.

Here’s some thoughts that crossed the average 25+ year old punter’s mind:

• Why the fuck would the chunky sluzzas wear short shorts?
• What’s with these kids and singlets?
• This is the last year I’m going to the Big Day Out
• I remember seeing Soundgarden at the ’94 and ’97 Big Days Out. These kids weren’t even born yet
• Why is Kanye a headliner?
• $8 for a mid strength beer? I’d rather go to the pub mate
• No one is applying sunscreen. The sun kills, you know
• If I leave 20 minutes into Kanye’s set I can beat the crowds home

Feelin’ sad? The new Unknown Mortal Orchestra video will cheer you up

William Orbit sez that Blur are working on a new album. William Orbit better be right. And that shit better have the same whimsy of Think Tank mixed with the meloncollie of the self-titled album and the smugness of Parklife. Make it happen Damon.

Die Antwoord‘s new album Ten$ion is out next week but you can find it now if you know where to look KNOW WHAT I’M SAYIN’

See them in town in March, will Richard D. James be joing them on stage? Our survey results say: maybe.

Amanda Palmer should be topless more often, hairy pits and all. Story here. Photo below.

What happens when let James Murphy and Tim & Eric mingle? A lot of weirdness in a new movie called The Comedy.However IMDB doesn’t think it’s very funny.

Tomorrow’s R Kelly today Frank Ocean has a new song called ‘Voodoo’. Listen to it here.

Instead after 45 minutes (and then some) of waiting we got this message:

Looks like the scalpers are gonna win. Anyway for those going; I’ll see you in the desert.
Not all doom and gloom as the excellent Refused announced a comeback. If you’re in San Francisco in mid April go see them with The Bronx and The Hives why don’tcha. It might just be the punkest thing you’ll ever do in your life. Tickets here.

So good news for Coachella. Not so good news for Big Day Out with them scrapping the New Zealand leg of the festival after 18 years. Things ain’t what it used to be. You can at least be happy that Grinspoon will play in Sydney and The Living End will play in Radelaide to make up for not having Grinspoon or The Living End on the lineup.

So how is this going to work? We all know At The Drive-In is back and all is well in the world but it’s been announced The Mars Volta has a new album out in March called, wait for it, Noctourniquet.

Noctorniquet.

Yeah. To further make you go like this here’s the tracklisting:

“The Whip Hand”
“Aegis”
“Dyslexicon”
“Empty Vessels Make the Loudest Sound”
“The Malkin Jewel”
“Lapochka”
“In Absentia”
“Imago”
“Molochwalker”
“Trinkets Pale of Moon”
“Vedemalady”
“Noctourniquet”
“Zed and Two Naughts”

Punk > Prog.

Poor Charlie Brown.

The Mountain Goats are touring. Again.

Yellow Wiggle got kicked out of the band yo. Other yellow Wiggle is back. WHAT NOW?

Want to get yourself a green Supreme cap? Or a t-shirt with a kitty on it? Or pretend you’re black? Go visit the Odd Future Sweat Shop pop-up store in Darlinghurst starting on the 24th January. How swag will that be!? Golf wang! Soup!

The what: 90s alt-rock fogey and Dinosaur Jr frontman J Mascis plays Sydney Festival’s Spiegeltent in the first of a three-night stand that sees him not even come close to cracking a smile.

The Spiegeltent is a great pop-up venue in Hyde Park if you haven’t been. The only issue is the seats are fairly terrible; I’d rather stand than sit on a rickity-ass wooden chair. Still I got there early and got a seat so in a way it’s all MY fault. But seriously, a cushion won’t go astray.

But back to the show. At 7pm on the nose Mascis pops through the curtain, sits down without making eye contact with the crowd and launches into Listen To Me. Crowd swoons and applaudes politely. The great thing about his solo shows is that he has a ton of material, so when classic Dino tracks like Blowing It and Not The Same are played they get a great reception. He also throws his usual cover of Edie Brickell’s Circle of Friends in for good measure.

And then the solos started. Seeing Mascis with his band live shredding his Fender Jag and melting faces is one of the greatest things you can experience. When he’s sitting on his arse not acknowledging the crowd and soloing on his acoustic through a distortion pedal it’s a different matter altogether. By the tenth solo I was a bit bored.

For the encore he did Repulsion which is great and ended on Little Fury Things. The site said the show ends at 8:15 and that’s what happened.

Verdict: I love this dude so much, but too much unnecessary noodling made me lose interest. It’s also a tiny venue, engage the crowd, at least tell us there’s merch at the back. MORE MERCH SOLD MEANS MORE MONEY FOR YOU! It was also pretty cool hearing classic Dinosaur Jr tracks perfomed acousticaly a mere 5 meters from my face.

Rating

And what is a hip hop show without a bogan crowd? Word, and in this instance there were plenty of westie lads who did make it, who’s bumbags casually slung over their shoulders were as nonchalant as their blatant disregard for the no smoking signs.

And what is a hip hop show without a schedule that the performers don’t stick to? Word, so when Jean was 30 minutes late it was expected. She’s tough as nails and spits razorblades like it ain’t no thang. Holy shit she’s angry. If possible I would have given her a hug and tried to win her a giant teddy bear at Luna Park. But she’s got skillz, mad rhymes and an East Coast booty as big as the Bronx. And these are all good qualities to have. Cool chick.

Pharoahe was quite the pimp, dressed in a Miami coke baron outfit he stole Common’s vibe. And then some genius punter (refer to bogan crowd above) jumped on stage and started to yell at him. Big burly dudes intervened, Pharoahe ducked offstage and was back a few minutes later. Thanks Sydney crowd. When he did make it back he flew into Simon Says and you can guess how that went down.

And then it was The GZA’s turn taking the hype that the previous acts built on and not delivering in full. There was the intro to Liquid Swords but he pulled a Ghostface and did a 45-minute medley of busting out the verses of all the big songs off that album. There were also lesser known tracks such as Animal Planet and the usual Wu tracks performed. W’s were raised. It was good but not great, considering his fantastic show at the same venue two years previously this was a letdown.

Verdict It’s always a gamble with hip hop shows. You can’t always get it right; there’s either deadshit acts, awful crowds or a shitty promoter. This however was as good as any other show. The good outweighed the bad and the result was an adequate evening.

Jean Grae
Pharoahe Monch
GZA

Crowd specs: Last time it was dirty hipsters with bad facial hair and flannos. This time it’s dirty hipsters with bad facial hair and flannos as well as a bunch of middle-aged peeps who heard that a Crosby Stills Nash & Young tribute band is playing tonight. And as such the bell promptly rings at 8pm for people to take their seats, no support for us coz the fogies need to get home at a reasonable hour.

And they stil have the harmonies. It’s their finest quality: six dudes on stage in perfect harmonial equilibrium. Singer Robin is a little less hirsute than last time but they’ve gained a touring keys player.

What doesn’t change is their setlist. This isn’t an impromptu get-together ten minutes before they take the stage. This is a rehearsed set from start to finish (jump on any setlist website to see). So this could mean two things – they’re great at what they deliver and what to put on a good show or they’res scared of mixing things up and churn out the same product each night.

What does matter is that Mykonos gets played early on, by far their finest moment. Helplessness Blues has some fine songs and they sound good but it was all about the summer of ’09 for me.

Setlist: 2 Albums and an ep, so yes all the well known songs will get played as if anyone was to doubt it. But as this is a set that’s been predetermined for quite a while it feels a bit watered down, a bit lacking. Sure there’s banter between songs and the crowd loves it but there’s no rock and roll spirit; no feeling of impending shenanigans. Or maybe that’s the way Fleet Foxes have always been.

The verdict: Blue Ridge Mountains and Montezuma was special, but as it’s essentially the band punching in a clock to get through their songs there was no spontaneity and as such, no heart. Harmonies and flannos at the Opera House do not a memorable show make.

Rating 

10. FRANK OCEAN – NOSTALGIA, ULTRA

The coolest cat in the OFWGKTA camp. Frank Ocean is tomorrow’s R Kelly today (without the pissing on girls and ‘Trapped in the closet’ thing). This is some smooth shit yo.

9. LIL WAYNE – THA CARTER IV

Tha Carter IV is so big and stupid it’s hilarious. It’s a great album if you want to get your party on, full of fat crunk beats and shit. Listen to this on a Monday morning and you’ll have flashbacks of yourself at last weekends’ house party doing shots off cute girls’ stomachs. Or puking in the flowerbed.

8. SNOWMAN – ABSENCE

So long Snowman, it’s been real. I was there when ‘Zombies on the Airwaves of Paris‘ was released, I remember seeing you open for Interpol in Sydney and I remember The Horse, The Rat and the Swan. Absence is your finest album and it’s a shame we never got to see you perform it live.

7. J MASCIS – SEVERAL SHADES OF WHY / THURSTON MOORE – DEMOLISHED THOUGHTS

These 2 albums take the same spot because they’re cut from the same cloth: 90s alt-rock dudes from great bands (Dinosaur Jr and Sonic Youth if you didn’t know) become alt-rock fogies and release some of their best work. Several Shades of Why sees Mascis open up his soul while Thurston laments over the demise of ThurKim on Demolished Thoughts. Possibly.
(Was ThurKim ever a thing like Brangelina?)

6. JACK LADDER – HURTSVILLE

Mini Nick Cave released the best Australian album of the year. And just like any Nick Cave release you will find no happiness during but feel pretty good at the end of it.

5. MOGWAI – HARDCORE WILL NEVER DIE BUT YOU WILL

C’mon. It’s Mogwai.

4. SHABAZZ PALACES – BLACK UP

It’s not everyday that a hip hop group gets signed to Sub Pop, so when that happens you’d hope they know what they’re doing. Nevermind the shitty label of “indie hip hop”, this is some of the freshest shiz released this year.

3. FUCKED UP – DAVID’S TOWN / DAVID COMES TO LIFE

Concept albums are pretty iffy at the best of times but Fucked Up managed okay releasing TWO of them this year. David’s Town sees Fucked Up play the role of a bunch of fictional bands from a fictional town called Byrdesdale Spa where David is from. It ranges froms 70s punk ala The Damned in Gacy and the Boys’ My old man’s a ginger to lo-fi indie pop in The Wavy Originals and a plethora of other genres inbetween.
Then we see the “punk rock opera” take shape in David Comes To Life. Something about David meeting Veronica. I can’t follow it through Pink Eyes’ screaming but who cares. Read about it here if you care. Concept schtick aside, this is the bomb.

2. UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA – S/T

Psychedelic garage pop that melts my brain. Having Ruben from The Mint Chicks the frontman certainly doesn’t tarnish this album’s reputation in the Scenedeath camp. I want to drink the brown water.

1. KURT VILE – SMOKE RING FOR MY HALO

There you go, our favourite album of 2011 is Smoke Ring For My Halo. If you’ve listend to it you will know why. No explanation necessary.

Rest In Peace.

Video by Ben Donald