Scenedeath goes to Splendour in the Grass

Another year another messy Splendour in the Grass.

Even though this years’ lineup wasn’t the stuff dreams are made of it beats sitting at work dealing with guys in suits. A painful part about interstate festivals is getting there; so a 6am plane to Brisbane is hardly better than my warm bed. Anyway, upwards and onwards.

The plane is relatively stress-free, the car ride to Woodford is fine too and sneaking booze in is really easy. At 2 o’clock we’re already set up and tucking into the goon, festival-fiend-style. Our camping neighbours are cool dudes and we widen the friendship circle because that’s what gets done at festivals (showering and changing your underwear does not).

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This is Splendour’s second year at Woodford and also the second year that it’s been a 3-day festival. The last time I went camping for 3 days was at Coachella in 2007 and the memories of lining up for 7 hours to get in still haunts me. No such issues here, with our wristbands we’re free to come and go as we please. The first night sees us trying to find a bar that serves full strengh alcohol. The only place that delivers is the Mo-Rockin’ Wine Bar. Red wine it is. And an early night too.

Day 1 and the rumours are flying in thick and fast.

Rumour 1
Jay-Z has flown into town and will be performing with Kanye. This rumour was like Aids in Africa – everyone had it. Everyone was convinced that Mister Beyonce was going to the guest and we’d get treated to ‘Watch the Throne’ material. This. Rumour. Was. Bullshit.

Rumour 2
Kanye and Coldplay got paid a million dollars each for their performers. Because someone’s friend works in the muzak biz and was told this.

Rumour 3
The promotors asked Arcade Fire to headline but they demanded two million dollars. Greedy fuckers. And it was just a few short years ago they were hanging out in churches and writing songs about dead people.

Rumour 4
Dave Sitek from TV On the Radio is to fill in on bass for Jane’s Addiction. Hmmm.

Rumour 5
Kate Moss was backstage. Well this is pretty much true as she’s an honorary member of The Kills now.

Highlights from Day 1

The Kills were okay. But who cares about the music when your backdrop is leopard print and you’re dressed in black.

Isaac Brock looked grumpy as hell, but when does he not? Modest Mouse did a good job of keeping the munting festival crowd entertained: Dashboard, Bukowski and Float On all go off.

The Hives now wear top hats. Howlin’ Pele may not have sold out the Hordern or even the Enmore but he’s still got the attitude. He’s gonna need that if the next album bombs.

Mogwai. Oh Mogwai my Scottish brethren. If this wasn’t your only Australian show I would not have attended Splendour. But you made it worthwhile. And you thanked us for not being at Kanye. And they said they’d be back in November. Boy howdy. And then it was off to…

Kanye West with 3 keys players and 24 ballerinas. I never thought much of him and his big bad ego but I gotta say, he puts on one hell of a show. Golddigger and Runaway makes me happy in my pants. Lack of Jay-Z does not. I imagine that if he did show it would have looked a lot like this:

Highlights from Day 2

Gareth Liddiard starts my second day (that and lining up 30 minutes to take a shit in a filthy toilet). Gaz is doing good and is funny as hell saying that if he were to organise Splendour he wouldn’t book himself. He closes his set with Shark Fin Blues and Jezebel.

Children Collide on the main stage goes off. The first album is still raucous as hell and I likes it.

Isobell Campbell and Mark Lanegan are on at the magic hour of 7pm. They’re both looking good. I stand there mesmerised to be in the company of such a legend (Lanegan, not the Belle and Sebastian bird).

And then it’s off to The Mars Volta!!!!11!! The fro’s are gone. Cedric still jumps off the stage and carries on but Omar looks like an olden day train driver with his little cap. The music is pompous and self-indulgent. But what didja expect! They top off their set with Inertiatic off De-Loused and I meh myself away.

Thievery Corporation put on a good show. That is all.

The funny thing about this festival is that the kids don’t respect the legends. When Jane’s Addiction closes the main stage there’s hardly anyone watching them. In comparison to Kanye there’s at least three quarters’ less people. Whatevz, go hang with Pnau. I’ll get all the Ted… Just Admit It, Been Caught Stealing and Three Days to myself. Shock horror though, Dave Navarro left his shirt at home.

Highlights from Day 3

The Vaccines. Meh. Don’t believe the hype.

Elbow. Meh.

Kaiser Chiefs. Meh.

Pulp. OH BOY PULP. Oh Jarvis you sexy skinny pale-ass Brit you. Yes I remember the first time Jarvis. Yes I wanna live like common people like you Jarvis. Yes I wanna meet up with you in the year 2000 Jarvis. Jarvis <3

Coldplay. Yeah I’m not a fan. But if they did get paid the million bucks they certainly put the effort into their show. Lots of lights and warbling from the stage made me antsy so I left. I presume that whiny bittersweet song got played. You know the one.

Splendour. Damn. Would I do it again next year? Let’s see who’s playing first.