The Worst Albums of 2011

Here we go, another year and another list of terrible albums that got released. Of course I roll with a sunny disposition these days so I try and focus on the good but sometimes the bad still manages to infiltrate. And when that happens I need to vocalise my feelings.

So this is a list of the worst albums I’ve had to put up with in 2011.

10. LMFAO – SORRY FOR PARTY ROCKING

These assholes ruined Saturday morning music TV for me forever. My routine used to be stumble into the lounge, coffee in hand and zone out for an our or two before I get ready for my day (which was usually doing nothing). Then bizarro Cedric & Omar came on the scene with such breakout smash hits as ‘Sexy and I Know It‘ and ‘Party Rock Anthem‘. I haven’t heard the entire album but anything that’s “party-rock” and speedo-related gets a big thumbs down from me.

9. BOY & BEAR – MOONFIRE

The cool new thing is to make really boring music, which is why Boy & Bore cleaned up at the Arias.
This is the sort of innofensive shit Triple J can really get behind. These cats are straight from the school of Mumford & Sons and Bon Iver: wholesome good-looking guys that wear flannos, grow stupid moustaches, make innoffensive mainstream tripe and hey presto; a fanbase! Speaking of Bon Iver…

8. BON IVER – BON IVER

Yup. Justin Vernon made hippie chicks with dreads and hairy armpits everywhere fall in love with him after he emerged from his cabin in the woods with ‘For Emma, Forever ago‘. Since then he has chilled out even more coz them royalties pay for a lot of jazz cigarettes. This album isn’t particularly bad, it’s just really dull. But what does he care? His upcoming Australian tour is sold the fuck out so the cash keeps rolling in yo.

7. ADELE – 21

Much like LMFAO this chick was hard to ignore this year. Those handful of moments when I turned on the tv I was greeted with a car advert or promo spot for an upcoming show that featured THAT song. And just like LMFAO I haven’t heard the album but it doesn’t matter when THAT song was everywhere.

6. RADIOHEAD – THE KING OF LIMBS

No this is not their best album since Kid A. Thom should hang out with DOOM more and finish that album we were promised. Until then his interprative dance is how this album makes me feel.

5. THE HORRORS – SKYING

These genre-confused “art goth-punks” need to make a choice: art-post-punk or shoegaze. They can’t have it both ways. With their 3rd album a blend of “My Bloody Valentine-meets JAMC” I am not convinced of their credentials. Perhaps they’ll channel Mumford & Sons and Boy and Bear for their next album and wear bowties and play hillbilly folk.

4. THE WEEKND – HOUSE OF BALLOONS

Rn’B for douchebags. White guys that take their shirts off at Stereosonic and Parklife are right into this. Don’t believe the hype.

3. LIMP BIZKIT – GOLD COBRA

Hey guess what? It’s 2011 and Limp Bizkit is still around, this time with Gold Cobra! Fucking nuts yo. I downloaded this shit and was really paranoid about listening to it on the train and other public spaces, what if a cute girl saw I had this on the ‘Pod? She’d laugh in my face.
Anyway the album is a fucking trainwreck. Fred is 41 years old and still jumps around with his red Yankees cap with Kurt and Elvis tattooed on his chest while Wes Borland dresses in his spooky makeup. I have it on good authority that on weekends Fred, Jared Leto and Jonathan Davis get together and reminisce what it was like when they were relevant.

2. TYLER, THE CREATOR – GOBLIN

This is Tyler’s ‘The Marshall Mathers LP‘. It’s full of stupid lyrics about rape and a loose concept about how shit’s changed since he struck it big (just like the Marshall Mathers LP). If you’re a 16 year old kid with a rats’ tail you would love this shit. Unfortunately it’s too embarrasing for a 30 year old guy to listen to and take seriously. With the exception of ‘She‘ and ‘Yonkers‘ this pile of doo doo is best left forgotten. Swag! Free Earl! Golf Wang! Shut up!

1. METALLICA & LOU REED – LULU

Well obviously, what else was it going to be? With a Metacritic score of 43 (which is surprisingly high) this is the lowest Metallica have ever gone. And I’m remembering the Mission Impossible soundtrack and that time that Lars and Kirk wore makeup. Throw in the effervescent always-happy Lou Reed and you get a concept album about a young German prostitute based on the plays of some old geezer. The worst part of this album is that I was forced to listen to it all the way through. Coming soon to a $2 bargain bin and Salvo store near you!

This picture does not lie.